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From a Mom to all Moms-to-be

 

 

No wonder motherhood brings so much of joy after all that wait. A dream that has finally come true. While a mother is still recovering from everything that her body has gone through, she already starts ignoring her own health, busy taking care of her little one.

 

She wants to do so much on her own as she looks for perfection in everything that her child deserves.

 

 

Let us all accept that not every moment in the motherhood is enjoyable or a happy moment. There are times when you will get frustrated, angry and look for some breathing period.

 

 

I have tried highlighting few challenges of my motherhood journey and how probably you can overcome them:

 

 

1. Lack of immediate help after delivery –

Everyone in the family is excited to welcome a new born however it is equally important to know how prepared they are, to provide you with the required support.

 

 

There was a phase, I had a tough time when Taksh was three weeks old. He used to sleep throughout the day and stay up the whole night.

 

Probably, every parent goes through this phase, as infants are still adjusting to the day night pattern. In my case this continued for almost three weeks for him to settle down which left me completely exhausted as this was an equally important phase for me to take enough rest and sleep.

 

 

• • Do not expect or rely much on family members or even on your spouse for that matter who is equally nervous and confused as you are, but still trying to do his best. Don’t take it as surprise when your mother or mother-in-law tells you that they don’t remember certain things that you expected them to know. It has been ages for them and not everyone is expert in everything. They all can help you till a certain extent.
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• • Family members will already have their own routine to follow and a new addition to the family is only going to increase their work, which will make them even more occupied. They too deserve a sound sleep after the hectic day.
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• • Communicate & start planning with your family members, well in advance, as to who will take up what so that the necessary arrangements can be done beforehand.
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• • Hire a dedicated care taker if possible. There has to be someone who can take care of your baby and your needs too in the start, right from the day one for at least a month or more, depending on case to case.
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• • Don’t get overburdened by doing everything for your baby alone, this can delay the recovery process that your body needs initially which can further disturb your mental peace.
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2. Worrying too much about the baby –

Once you get your new born home, that’s when the real journey starts. No matter how much you have prepared yourself, there’s always going to be so many such instances where you will feel helpless and will not understand what to do and how to do. That’s when we get scared and instead of enjoying the beautiful moments, we end up spending these moments worrying for our baby.

 

When we were back home after delivery, we didn’t know how to swaddle the baby but we knew swaddling kept him comfortable all this while, not sure why baby was crying even when fed? was I not making enough milk? scared of clipping those tender nails as we could see some scratches already on his face and so many such small things. This can sound funny when you think about it now but they can be equally worrying for new parents.

 

The new chapter of your life has just begun and you are still building the confidence.  Just take it easy. It’s a phase that shall pass soon. Take help, read, practice and you are there.

 

3. Lack of knowledge on breastfeeding –

Utilize your pregnancy time in reading and gathering as much as information as you can on breastfeeding, one of the most precious things that you can gift your baby. With some difficulty in the beginning, I was successfully able to make it within a week.

 

• • 1. Read about how to latch babies and diet to increase your milk supply

• • 2. Arrange for a feeding bed, bending too much towards your baby can    
  •      increase strain on your back.

• • 3. Take enough fluids

• • 4. Don’t take stress and get enough rest

• • 5. Go for lactation consultation if required as delay in feeding can harm your
  •     milk supply.
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4. Colic and crying

This is one the most common problem that babies go through specially in their first trimester. One of those sleepless night, I had spent with just no clue what the problem was? Taksh was four weeks old when I was at my mom’s place, already having tough time with my sleep and a colicky baby was like a cherry on the cake.  All he wanted was to keep nursing as he looked to soothe himself.

 

In such situations, identifying the problem itself can give you half of the solution and that can be a major relief. You can then try & find some solutions to cope up with it for time being. Also, when you know the problem is not very serious, you can always wait to consult your pediatrician the next morning & the late-night chaos can be avoided. Gently massaging baby’s tummy, bicycle kicks, laying baby tummy-down across knees, warm bath, swaddling, holding them for some more time can help here.

 

5. Work – Life balance

From an independent professional to having a completely dependent child, is a huge transition and will change your life completely, struggling to find some ‘ME’ time. You will always have some or the other work lined up back-to-back.  All that you enjoyed doing this while is now a struggle. Besides, meeting everybody’s expectation, unwanted suggestions, judgements, comparisons and conflicts due to difference on opinion can be more distressing. One can expect all these coming your way along with motherhood. 

 

Following your passion along with motherhood can be a very challenging task and to balance it, one need to have a good support.  Start preparing & planning on how you can deal with it in a best possible way that will have a mix of everything. Take out some time for the activity that you like and do not forget on exercising regularly.

 

You all are doing a wonderful job out there. The feeling that you are always worried for your little ones, itself makes you a good mother. Don’t look for perfection every time. Let it go with the flow. People will judge you anyway. So do what is best convenient for both you and your child. Nobody else is walking in your shoes.

 

With some foresight, a little knowledge and of course an on-time pediatrician guidance can make your life much smooth and easily overcome these challenges of motherhood.